Ah, love. It makes the world go round. It's a many splendored thing. All you need is it! It will keep us together. We can’t help falling in it. You can’t hurry it, neither can you buy me it... Goodness knows what singers would sing about, if not for love.
And it’s nothing new, the immortalisation of our romantic feelings in song. In every society throughout recorded history, humans have sung songs, written poems and operas, and painted pictures for and of their beloveds. And given gifts, especially in this month of February, which features as its mid-point, Valentine’s Day.
The grand temple of love
The 17th-century Mughal emperor Shah Jahan set the bar for dramatically generous gestures of luuuurve. He built the Taj Mahal in honour of wife, Mumtaz Mahal, who died giving birth to their 14th child. It’s celebrated as a grand temple to love, but I don’t know so much.
Sure, it’s a nice thought, having thousands of craftsmen spend 22 years crafting a magnificent marble palace in your honour, but if there’s a building budget on offer, I’d rather have an en-suite bathroom in this lifetime than a marble mausoleum once I’m gone.
All hail Bishop Valentine!
So, why do we give gifts and cards to our beloveds? Why do we have Valentine’s Day at all? One theory about the origin of Valentine's Day is that Emperor Claudius II banned Roman men from marrying during wartime (presumably they were less eager to be shipped out to die on a battle field when they had a warm young wife at home). Kind-hearted Bishop Valentine performed secret weddings, for which he was jailed.
He is reported to have performed a miracle by healing Julia, the blind daughter of his jailer, and to have sent her the first Valentine Card, signing as “Your Valentine,” before he was executed.
I can’t vouch for the veracity of the story – there are some obvious holes – but whatever its origins, Valentine’s Day has been remarkably resilient through the ages. As has romantic love, and for good reason. When we are in love, there is activity in the brain’s reward system, the same part of the brain that becomes active in a cocaine high. Romantic love has many of the hallmarks of addiction.
The age of modern romance
Skip forward a few centuries from the kindly Bishop and boom! Here we are. A reported 180 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged every year, according to www.statisticbrain.com, and roughly 200 million roses.
Here’s a chilling stat for reluctant romantics: 53% of female respondents to a survey said that they’d end a relationship if they didn’t get something for Valentine’s Day. And another one: 3% of respondents give a Valentine’s gift to their pet.
Happy Friend's Day!
I suspect that many of the beating hearts and dry mouths on Valentine’s Day are the result of anxiety, rather than adoration. Oh, it’s easy if you're uncontrovertibly and mutually in love. Pah. No problem there. But what if it’s a new relationship, or one that’s fun but certainly not The One, or one that’s old and on its way out? And spare a thought for reluctantly single people longing for love. Or recent divorcees. Or brooding teenagers nursing secret crushes.
It’s at times like that when we look to always-sensible Finland, where Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä, or Friend’s Day. Buddies, family, colleagues and neighbours are celebrated, which certainly takes the pressure off. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and pick out something nice for my dog.
Shop now at Clicks.co.za for Valentine's Day gifts
Make use of the convenience of online shopping to browse through our wide selection of great Valentine's Day gifts and choose the perfect one for your partner, family member or bestie!
IMAGE CREDIT: 123rf.com