When you matriculate you may know the capital of Egypt, how to do long division and about the food cycle, but what about other essential life skills, like changing a flat tyre or filling in a tax return? Here are a few other necessary skills everyone needs…
1. How to set and achieve goals
“A major difference between winners and losers is that winners are working with a plan towards a goal. Losers have a tendency to follow what everyone else is doing,” says Salala Lesela, author of Winning at Work and at Home (Sizwe Publishing). Remember those kids at school who headed up the matric-dance committee, organised the school fete, and also managed to score top marks in exams? They were planners and goal-setters. “When following others,” Salala points out, “if things go wrong, it's easy to blame others instead of oneself. Setting your own goals that you measure by your own success or failure.”
To begin setting goals write down all the things you want and divide them into the short, medium or long term. Then write down the steps you plan to take to reach these goals. Start implementing them one step at a time, and review them regularly.
2. How to manage your time
Were you one of those pupils who realised, with a week to go to exams that you hadn't even begun to think about studying? Or did you draw up a study schedule in plenty of time and stick to it? Even if you were one of the former, it's never too late to manage your time properly. Draw up a schedule to help you make better use of your time. If you want to exercise regularly, for example, you need to allocate a space in your daily schedule, otherwise it's just not going to happen.
3. How to network
Networking doesn't just mean socialising at office functions, it means putting other people in touch if it will help them in some way. Ultimately it should help everyone concerned, so if somebody does you a favour it is expected that you will return the favour in due course.
Expand your database of contacts in a gentle way, not as a mercenary exercise:
If you can't be interesting, be interested. Be pleasant, enthusiastic, amiable and above all a good listener.
Ask questions – it's amazing what and who, other people know.
Thank people for their assistance. If you promise someone the number of your manicurist, for instance, follow through.
4. How to appreciate people's differences
Schoolchildren are merciless when it comes to not allowing others to fit into their little social circle. Children need to realise that not everyone will always share their outlook on life, their values or interests. They need to appreciate that their worldview is not the only one that has value. If they treat everyone with respect, someone who they perhaps didn't get on with at school may turn out to be one of their friends later in life. They need to understand that being unique or different is not wrong.
5. How to question what you're told by the media
Many of us weren't encouraged to ask questions about what our teachers told us at school. Now that you are a grown-up, you can – and should – query everything you're told. Remember, just because it's in print doesn't mean it's true, and similarly anybody can write whatever they like on the Internet.
6. How to manage your finances
Back at school many of us thought money grew on trees. Our parents earned it, we spent it. Why, oh why weren't we taught to fill in tax returns and budget our personal finances at school? Taking responsibility for your life means also taking responsibility for your money. Financially successful people will tell you that it's not how much money you make, but rather what you do with it. And what you need to do is spend less than you earn, and make the remainder grow.
7. How to complain graciously
Just as we did when we were in school, many of us whinge to our friends about everything under the sun, but when it comes to standing up and making ourselves heard, we feel as if we're back in Miss Smith's class. In her book Get Wise (African Watermark) Tia Young suggests the following steps to making an effective complaint:
• Don't become intimidated
• Make notes – who you spoke to, their position, the dates and times of complaints
• Put your complaint in writing
• Ensure that your facts are correct
• Send copies of original receipts
• Don't wait too long before you complain.
8. How to find a mentor
It helps to get good advice from people who've already trodden the path you're on, so find someone in your organisation, field or family who can give you tips that could improve your performance. If you approach someone in your office, make it very clear that you are not after their specific job.
9. How to take and give criticism
When your teacher gave you a ‘D' on your science project and remarked ‘Could do better', you felt angry and humiliated. It is tough to be criticised, but constructive criticism can be very helpful. Lidia Vosloo of Psygro Consulting Psychologists teaches people to manage criticism by neutralising their pride and focusing on the issues concerned, not on their emotions. Lidia points out that a criticism is somebody else's opinion that you can agree or disagree with. If you view your critic as someone who is making an investment in your personal growth, you will benefit from the criticism.
When you want to criticise somebody else, stick to the facts and don't turn it into a personal attack. Don't mix compliments and criticism because it is patronising and cancels out the compliments. Try this approach: Describe the person's specific behaviour, for example, “you throw your clothes on the floor”, not “you're a slob”.