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4 - 6 months

6 Mistakes new parents make

18 April 2022 | By Glynis Horning

Being aware of the most common parenting mistakes can help you avoid them.

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Becoming a parent can be as daunting as it is delightful, here are some of the most common mistakes that new parents make.

1. Worrying unnecessarily

When you’re still feeling your way in caring for this precious, totally dependent new being, you can be so overwhelmed that you miss out on enjoying it. Are they drinking too little? Pooping too much? The wealth of advice now available online, and offered even by strangers doesn’t help.

Solution: “Understand that worrying is how a new parent learns to train their eyes and ears to be responsive to baby’s needs,” says Gauteng psychologist Karin Steyn. Babies are more resilient than you think, and experience breeds confidence. Find a few reliable sources, from your mom or clinic sister to a reputable medical website, and trust only those and your common sense. “Find what works best for you and your unique baby, and use other people’s experience simply as a guide, not an absolute,” Stein says.

2. Neglecting key health-care issues

On the other hand, new parents often don’t pay attention to three genuinely important issues – fevers, oral care and car seats.

Solution: Any temperature over 38˚C in the first three months should prompt a call to your paediatrician. And don’t wait until baby’s first teeth to begin oral care: wipe their gums with gauze daily, then start gently using a soft brush when they turn one. Finally, take care to install baby’s car seat correctly (follow the instructions, which will often link to a video clip online). One study found nearly half of children’s car seats moved too much to be safe, and the chest clips were wrongly positioned.

3. Spending on inessentials

There’s pressure on new parents to buy all manner of things without which, the makers and marketers intimate, you will not being giving your baby the best start.

Solution: Shop for baby equipment and clothes with an experienced parent. They will explain that you really don’t need a compactum, a cot with an electric rocking device, or a designer wardrobe. For the first months all you really need are a cot or crib and pram (second hand can be fine), plus diapers and onesies – in larger sizes that last longer. Put savings towards music lessons and varsity one day. “The time you spent loving and cuddling your child is much more important than the money spent on expensive brands and unnecessary things,” says Steyn. “Sing to your baby, read stories, take walks and baths together, massage and touch your baby lovingly, and make lots of good eye contact.”

4. Being housebound

It can seem too much of a schlep to go out when you need so much gear for a baby, and too frightening, exposing them to crowds and germs. But you will both benefit from time outdoors.

Solution: Stock a nappy bag with essentials (change of clothes, wipes, posset cloths and bum cream) and keep it ready with your pram. Just a stroll in a park can make you feel alive and stimulate your baby – chat to them as you go. “Exposure to mild exercise and sunlight is necessary for health and good immunity and combats depression,” says Steyn. “Getting out also allows you to connect back into the normal world where you have friends and access to support and positive feedback.”

5. Not getting enough sleep

Instead, you use baby’s nap and sleep time for house chores or a Netflix fest.

Solution: Your first priority should be to get enough sleep yourself. It’s the best mood and energy restorer – and when you’re happy, your baby will be too, says Steyn.

6. Neglecting your relationship

Yes, your baby is the centre of your universe right now, but they won’t be forever.

Solution: Keep investing in your relationship, enjoy date nights, and keep showing kindness and displays of affection everyday, and your partner will still be with you long after your child has grown up and left home. Besides, being raised in the security of a loving home is the best thing you can give your child – and the best way to help them have loving relationships of their own some day.

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