The range of extramural activities available has never been wider, from archery to mental maths, making the choice daunting for your child and for you.
The right choice can stimulate your little one and give them skills to fulfill themselves and develop self-esteem. Some US studies even report that children who do extra-murals have been found to be more likely to attend school regularly and to have a positive attitude to schoolwork, while those doing none are more likely to drop out, smoke, take drugs, become teenage parents and do crime.
It's all about a healthy balance
The key for extra-murals is to have a healthy balance. “Children also need time with their parents and siblings, and time to mix with friends – it’s how they learn to relate to others and become independent,” says Cape Town counseling psychologist Thabile Zondi-Rees. In addition, they need time for themselves – to be carefree and spontaneous, to indulge in imaginary play, connect with their feelings, process problems, find perspective and recharge their batteries.
“Extra-mural activities have a useful place,” says Durban educational psychologist Fatima Essack. “But being committed to too many activities can eventually lead to loss of pleasure in them and burn-out. The child can struggle to cope with academic demands and projects as they get to higher grades, and there’s tremendous pressure on them to be competitive and do well in all spheres.”
So what’s the best approach?
Help your child to select one activity, two at most
A good balance could be one physical and one creative. Consider what your child can gain from them, even if they are not a future champion in that field. It’s good to dream, but realistically the chance of becoming an Olympic swimmer, soccer star or concert pianist is one in millions, and the result of genes, tenacity, passion, practice and luck.
“Music, art and drama can help children discover and nurture talents and develop resources, making them more rounded and confident people,” says Essack. “These activities develop their right-brain skills, nurturing creativity and releasing stress.” Sport and dance classes can increase fitness and muscle tone. They too relieve stress, releasing feel-good endorphins; and team activities teach social skills such as sharing and following rules.
In guiding your child’s choice, ask them what is driving it, and whether that’s enough
Enjoying the movie Frozen may not be sufficient reason to enroll in ice-skating classes, especially if your little one lacks balance and co-ordination; then again, could this be improved by skating lessons?
Other considerations to take into account
Consider factors such as cost (can you afford the classes and the kit?); hours of commitment required from your child (in classes and practice) and from you (playing taxi); and distance to the venue (consider the price of petrol and the tedium of traffic jams). If these are likely to put a strain on you, the child or the rest of your family, reconsider.
Try before you commit
Ask if your child can sit in on a few classes to gauge his or her level of interest and enjoyment, before committing to kit and fees. Check out the environment: is it safe, caring, stimulating? Do they treat children with respect? Check the instructor’s credentials.
Encourage them to stick with it
Once your child has made a choice, encourage them to stick with it for a season, or long enough to glean at least a basic knowledge of the activity. If they are unhappy, explore whether they just need a different teacher, rather than a change of extramural activity.
Look out for signs of overload
This includes tiredness, weepiness, sleeplessness or over-sleeping, irritability, aggression, headaches, tummy aches, regression (thumb-sucking, bed-wetting), bad behaviour, wanting to stay at home and clinginess.
Encourage and motivate your child
But if they’re miserable, it’s usually best to let them withdraw. Remind yourself that many of the benefits of extramural activities (exercise, releasing endorphins, learning social skills) can be achieved with less pressure in family activities such as walking or kicking a ball together after work, which also bonds the family.
Remember that every child is different
While some may thrive on busy schedules, others can crumble under relatively light ones. It depends on their personality type, motivation and stage of development. Accept it and work with it.
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