Know the signs of depression and anxiety and how to talk to your teen before it’s too late.
“Too many youngsters are taking their lives and much more needs to be done to prevent this needless tragedy,” says Cassey Chambers operations director of the SA Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG).
Suicide is now the leading cause of death in South Africans aged 15 to 29, and accounts for nearly one in 10 of all unnatural teen deaths. And according to a National Youth Risk Behaviour Survey, almost twice as many have considered attempting suicide (17.6% of teens).
This makes it vital for parents to know for warning signs which SADAG reports 75% of suicidal youngsters display:
- Ongoing depressed mood – occasional sadness and moodiness is normal, especially in adolescence, says Chambers, but be wary if this lingers, and they lose interest in what used to give them pleasure, or withdraw.
- Extreme agitation or angry behaviour; acting out in tantrums or sexually, or engaging in dangerous activities.
- Changes in sleeping patterns – sleeping either less or more than normal.
- Changes in appetite and weight.
- Sudden deterioration in academic or sport performance.
- Feeling constantly tired, lacking energy.
- Feeling worthless, guilty, a failure – watch for this especially around matric exam times, says Chambers.
- Feeling hopeless and desperate.
- Abusing alcohol and other drugs.
- Thinking about death or suicide – saying things like “You’d be better off without me” or “I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up”; giving away possessions or saying goodbye, especially on social media.
“Be concerned about a depressed teen if five or more of these symptoms have been present nearly every day for two weeks or more,” says Chambers.
Risk of suicide is higher if they have made previous suicide attempts, if there is a family history of physical, mental or emotional illness or suicide, or if they have experienced a significant loss, especially the end of a relationship.
Another risk these days is social media, where teens can encounter cyber-bullying, or feelings of inadequacy from comparing themselves to the carefully curated and airbrushed profiles of their peers. They can also be influenced by other depressed teens, or by actual suicide websites, which encourage suicide, facilitating the formation of pacts and detailing means. “Young people are especially vulnerable, partly because the development of maturity involves the development of problem-solving and life skills,” says Zamo Mbele, a clinical psychologist and SADAG board member. “They don’t always fully grasp that suicide will be the last choice they ever make.”
Talk to your teen
Reach out to them in a caring way. Ask what’s troubling them, says Chambers. “Don’t be afraid to ask if they’re considering suicide: you won’t be planting an idea, you’ll be giving them a chance to talk.”
Listen closely, empathetically and non-judgmentally. Reassure them that whatever the problem is, they are not alone: you are there to support them. And let them know that suicidal feelings are temporary – depression can be treated and problems can be worked through.
If they threaten suicide, never dismiss it as an empty threat or a bid for attention, warns Chambers: you may live to regret it.
Get help
Call SADAG’s toll-free suicide helpline, 0800 567 567 or SMS 31393. Most suicidal teens respond well to counselling, says Chambers. Cognitive behavioural therapy can teach ways to challenge negative assumptions and give coping strategies. Medication can address imbalances in the brain chemicals responsible for mood; and modern antidepressants have minimal side-effects when taken as directed, she says.
The best way to protect your teen against depression and suicide is to constantly remind them that you love them and are there to support them, says Mbele. “Cultivate an open, honest and trusting relationship with your children. This will encourage them to talk openly when in distress.”
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