What to do when your toddler refuses to sit in their car seat
If you’re reading this article, it’s likely that you’re a parent to a wildly defiant toddler that simply refuses to sit – and stay – in their car seat. First thing you need to know? You’re not alone.
It’s not unusual for toddlers to cry and act out when restricted – they like the feeling of being free to move and explore, so it isn’t surprising that being confined to a car seat often results in tantrums.
To help prevent a meltdown, give your toddler options, as this makes them feel as though they have some sort of say in the matter. Simply asking your little one whether they'd like you to lift them into their car seat, or if they'd prefer to climb in themself could make a big difference.
Remain calm
Children pick up on their parents’ energy, so if your toddler senses that you’re flustered, it’s likely that they’ll continue to spiral. Yes, it’s horrible dealing with a toddler tantrum or having to drive with a screaming child in the back seat, but it happens to everyone at least once.
Wind down your window, turn up your music, and try to ignore your noisy passenger – they’ll eventually calm down or tire out.
Let them help
Although it requires a certain amount of patience, getting your toddler to help with fastening their seat belt not only distracts them, but it also plays into their desire to be a “big kid”. Always make sure that you check that your toddler is strapped in properly afterwards.
Reward good behaviour
“Offer your child a reward not only for sitting in their seat without fighting, but for overall good behaviour in the car as well,” suggests Mandy-Lee Miller, the creator and director of national car seat awareness initiative #CarseatFullstop, who is recognised as one of two car seat experts in South Africa. “A distracted driver is not a safe driver!”
Give them something to look forward to
Mandy advises having special car seat entertainment, like an audiobook or a favourite sing-a-long playlist that’s for use in the car only. She suggests buying a special travel buddy, too - choose a soft toy that won’t pose a danger during a crash scenario, and only bring it out once your toddler is safely buckled into their car seat.
If all else fails, be firm. “Remember, you are the parent and it’s your job to keep your children safe,” says Mandy. “Unless everybody – including you – is properly strapped in, the car does not move. No exceptions.”
