Your toddler touched themselves in public – now what?
Toddlers are naturally inquisitive, constantly discovering the world around them – and this extends to their own body parts too. The first thing that concerned parents need to know is that this is completely normal and age-appropriate behaviour for young children.
“Toddlers touching themselves is perfectly normal, innocent behaviour,” says Sister Mariaan Fourie, a nursing practitioner at Clicks in Somerset West. “And as embarrassing as it may be for you as the parent, it’s important that you don’t shame your child – simply try and distract them by offering them a snack, for example.”
Why do toddlers touch themselves?
It is natural and healthy for young children to explore their bodies, and touching their genitals is no different to them playing with their toes, for instance.
Toddlers are, of course, not aware of the fact that this should be a ‘private’ activity. In fact, privacy is a very difficult concept for young children to understand, so you shouldn’t expect them to know what it means until they’re around 5 or 6 years old.
Also, bear in mind that that young children may find touching themselves to be soothing and comforting, so will often touch themselves when they’re feeling anxious, scared or stressed.
It may be a sign that your little one needs a little extra attention from you to help calm them down in a frightening, loud or overstimulating environment (such as a busy supermarket).
What to do when your toddler touches themself
“First of all, check that your child doesn’t need to go to the bathroom,” advises Sr Fourie. “Children will often touch themselves if they need to go.” It’s important that you refrain from shaming them for touching themselves.
This negative response may not only tempt them to repeat the behaviour in future, but it could also send the message that their body is something to be ashamed of.
You can also try distracting your child with a snack or another activity when you’re in a public setting – give them some play-dough, building blocks or crayons to draw with.
Use the opportunity to start teaching your toddler about privacy. Tell them that ‘we only do that at home’, and compare it to going to the bathroom.
Children won’t grasp the concept of privacy immediately, so be prepared to continue this conversation and give constant reminders – consistency is key!
