Common working parent myths

1. Children’s development suffers when parents work

Children’s development is more influenced by the quality of parenting and home environment than by parental employment status. “It doesn’t have to do with whether a parent works or not – it’s whether a child feels loved, seen and accepted, whether they have safety and routine, and whether there’s sufficient discipline in their lives,” says Gauteng psychologist Karin Steyn. 

“The greatest myth of the working parent is that suddenly the child will have no routine, discipline or supervision. If parents can make alternative arrangements for the safety, routine and stability of the child in a healthy, supportive environment where their needs are provided for, the child will continue to grow and flourish. That can definitely be achieved with aftercare programmes, with nannies, and with other family members stepping in as parental alternatives.” 

She adds that children often develop independence, self-confidence and self-awareness from seeing their parents manage both work and family responsibilities effectively.

2. Working parents are selfish for working outside the home

Parents work for a range of reasons, including personal fulfilment, pursuing their own career ambitions and modelling success to their children. But for many, two incomes are vital to meet the basic needs in raising family, says Steyn. 

As sole breadwinners, single parents have no option but to work. According to the General Household Survey (released by Statistics South Africa in May 2025), 42% of households are now headed by women. Yet the Women’s Report (sponsored by Stellenbosch Business School) found “women who wish to return to work after giving birth often face prolonged unemployment or are forced to accept lower-level jobs”, and “women who choose to stay at home for a period to raise a child are viewed as undesirable employees and as needing onerous accommodations at work”. 

The report noted that stay-home mothers were acknowledged to have strengths such as team building, administration and efficiency skills, maturity, patience and emotional caring. It concluded that that there was a need for employers to offer support to retain talent and increase the number of moms returning to the workplace (flexible hours, a supportive, inclusive workplace culture). In the 2025 KPMG Working Parents Survey, 76% of working parents believe becoming a parent has increased their motivation at work, driving them to achieve greater success.  

3. Children of working parents have behaviour issues

Research generally finds no significant negative effect on a children’s social and emotional development if their parents work, and in some cases, children of working mothers may fare better. One 2018 study found, for example, that the daughters of working moms are more likely to be employed as adults and have higher incomes. 

More important than if parents work is how they work. Unpredictable schedules, high work-family conflict and job insecurity may be linked to behavioural issues. But stable work and greater financial security can create a calmer home environment, which benefits the child.

4. Children need their mother/father present 24/7

“Children benefit more from focused attention, a structured, supportive and loving environment than from a parent’s constant physical presence,” says Steyn. Quality interactions, such as talking about their day and playing together, help build strong bonds. The key is to maximise engagement during time spent together. To help find balance, aim to be fully present in whichever role you are in at the moment (parent or worker). “It’s less about choosing one over the other, and more about constant negotiation and compromise.”

5. Parents who work can’t be good parents

A parent’s ability to be a ‘good parent’ is not determined by their employment status, Steyn says. “It’s judged on a family-by-family, parent-by-parent basis, and the key is providing support and a positive role model.”

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