Clicks BroNation: How to cope with anxiety

We all feel anxious at times – it is natural, even useful, letting us know something is going on in our lives that requires our attention. However, when anxiety becomes excessive and does not let up, and it starts affecting your life, job or relationships, it is important to get help. “Untreated anxiety can spiral and escalate into the use of substances, depression, and even suicide,” says Cape Town clinical psychologist Peter Powis.

Society has come some way in breaking gender stereotypes, but many men remain reluctant to reach out for help, imaging it’s a sign of weakness, Powis says. A destructive ‘man-up’ mentality holds that ‘boys don’t cry’,  and ‘real men’ must always be confident and in control – they must be rocks of reason and reliability at work, at home, and even when socialising with their bros.

If you are in the grip of an anxiety disorder, it can leave you feeling disoriented, fearful, inadequate, and even emasculated. Symptoms can be both physical and emotional, and it is vital to recognise them, acknowledge them, and get help.

Red flags for anxiety 

• You may feel anxious most of the time.
• You might constantly worry about bad things that may happen to you or those you care about.
• You may feel tense, nervous, agitated and restless.
• You could be irritable and impatient.
• You might have angry outbursts.
• You could have difficulty thinking, concentrating and remembering things.
• You may struggle to sleep, or sleep all the time.
• You might have panic episodes, when your heart races, your chest hurts, and you have difficulty breathing. Nausea, diarrhoea, dizziness, light-headedness, tingling and numbness in your fingers, face and toes, hot flushes, sweats, and a frequent need to urinate are also symptoms.
• You may fear you are losing control, going ‘crazy’, could do something embarrassing, or may be dying.

While statistics suggest that women are more likely than men to have anxiety disorders, the reason may be less scientific than social. Women tend to open up with those close to them or seek professional help. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to drink or take non-prescription drugs, attempting to relieve their anxiety in ways seen as more ‘socially acceptable’. They may also get involved in gambling and reckless behaviour, says Powis – “any form of escapist or numbing behaviour”.

However, when you bottle up anxiety instead of speaking about it, it can build and eventually erupt in explosive anger that hurts relationships and careers, and even get you in trouble with the law.

If you recognise these signs, and you also start to feel persistent sadness, apathy or loss of hope, and have suicidal thoughts, your anxiety may have has morphed into depression. “The two often go hand in hand,” Powis says. “It is vital to get help.”

What to do if you are struggling with anxiety

There is no shame in reaching out – it shows sense and courage, and you will be helping pave the way for other men. Start by opening up to a trusted friend or family member about what you are experiencing, or go directly to your health provider. They may refer you to a psychologist, psychiatrist of counsellor. You can also contact SADAG for help: call 0800 567 567, SMS 32312, or visit www.sadag.org.

Treatment for anxiety typically involves counselling, medication or both. “Ideally some kind of counselling should always accompany meds,” Powis says. “Counselling is important to get to the underlying cause of your anxiety, which could be anything from work stress to family dynamics, a traumatic event, or fear around  future financial stability.” It may also be rooted in a medical condition, such as heart disease or diabetes, or a drop in hormone levels – low testosterone is known to raise anxiety and the stress hormone cortisol.

You will likely be offered cognitive behavioural therapy, which teaches you how to reframe your thoughts to stop triggering your anxiety, and problem-solving therapy, to give you skills to manage your symptoms. These can be as simple as deep breathing or progressive relaxation.

Medication for anxiety may be selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs), benzodiazepines or beta-blockers, and it may take several weeks to have effect. “Remember that the benzos, when used for long or in excess, can become addictive and in fact worsen the anxiety,” cautions Powis.

It is important that you develop an action plan with your therapist, which includes lifestyle changes such as getting regular exercise (to release anxious energy and feel-good endorphins), eating a healthy diet, cutting back on alcohol, getting enough sleep, and managing stress through meditation, music or other activities you enjoy. 

“Anxiety can seem overwhelming, but with the right support you can learn how to manage it and move ahead,” he says.

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