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5 Things to know if you are new to sex toys

Venturing into the realm of pleasure enhancers can be overwhelming for beginners. We ask an intimacy expert for guidance.

11 July 2023 | By Robyn MacLarty

Like Alice in Through the Looking Glass, embarking on a journey into the wonderful (at times weird) world of sex toys can be thrilling, empowering, and a little scary. “Whether you're exploring alone or with a partner, there are a few key things to keep in mind as you navigate the vast array of options available,” says intimacy coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs. She shares her top five tips to make your first experience with adult pleasure devices fun, safe, and satisfying.

1. Find a sex-ploration buddy

“Using sex toys for the first time can be very intimidating, especially when faced with such a large range of strange objects,” says Tracy. “My suggestion is to ask a close friend who has had experience with sex toys when searching. It’s important for first-timers to feel comfortable when asking for advice. The assistants in the adult sex shops are usually very knowledgeable and kind.”

2. Use a good lubricant, always

“A good lubricant can take your explorative play from so-so to sublime, reducing friction and increasing pleasure,” says Tracy. “Water-based lubricant is your best bet as it is safe and effective and easy to clean up.” 

Silicone lubricants are also an option (some prefer them as they are not soluble in water, and therefore remain effective in, say, the shower or a hot tub). “But be careful not to combine silicone lubricants with silicone sex toys, as this can cause the toy to begin to disintegrate.”

3. Prioritise body-safe materials

“If you are prone to dermatological problems and experience sensitivity to certain materials which cause allergic reactions, such as latex, you should be careful when buying sex toys,” says Tracy. “Always check for objects that include phthalates. Phthalates may be harmful to your health and more research is needed to assess their effect on humans.”

4. Try one of these…

“For women, the toy I usually recommend for beginners is a silicone bullet vibrator. These have a pretty standard look and feel – a bit like, you guessed it, a large bullet. Most come with a few vibration settings, from gentle to more intense. The bullet stimulates the clitoris as well as allowing for penetration into the vagina. It is not very large in girth nor length so it is less intimidating than other types of vibrator.”

5. Communicate

If you’re planning to introduce a sex toy to your partner, don’t surprise them – rather, tell them what you have planned, beforehand. “Communication is the most important ingredient in every successful relationship. Any change to the current status quo requires a conversation,” says Tracy. “Remember that timing is everything. When broaching the subject, make sure you are both calm and are able to focus on each other without distractions. Be specific about what you want, but don’t shame your partner or become angry if they are not willing to try something new. Make sure that your partner is comfortable and gives their consent to trying new things. They should not feel coerced into anything they don’t feel comfortable doing.”

Products to try
●    Mini Vibrating Bullet
●    Clicks Intimate Lubricant Touch 100ml
●    Liquid Gold Lube Rooibos Application Gel 500ml
●    Clicks Silk Vibrator Small
●    plusOne Vibrating Wand

IMAGE: 123rf.com