7 things you need to know as the parent of a preemie

No one sets out to have a baby pre-term, so when yours arrives before week 37 of your pregnancy (a ‘preemie’), it can throw your best-laid plans and be frightening. 

1. Know that it’s normal to feel nervous

They may weight 2500g or less, be very thin, have skin through which you can see their veins, have little scalp hair but lots of soft body hair, and their features may seem out of proportion. But know that all this will change.

2. Know that it’s normal to fear for their wellbeing

It’s important to be aware that preterm babies are more likely to develop chronic health issues such as asthma than full-term infants, and some can suffer lifelong effects such as cerebral palsy, mental retardation and hearing and vision impairments, because of an immature nervous system. They can also have emotional and behavioural problems and learning difficulties. But know too that many preemies flourish.

Olympic gold medalist Wayde van Niekerk was born at 29 weeks weighing just over 1kg, and doctors said he might end up disabled. Nobel Prize winner Albert Einstein, too, was born prematurely, with a strangely shaped head, but while his development was slow at first, he advanced rapidly from age 9.

3. Know that it’s normal to feel a sense of disappointment or guilt

However misplaced, about not delivering a full-term, healthy baby; and to grieve over an uncertain future. But know too that that this can be eased by asking neonatal nurses to explain the somewhat daunting equipment and procedures in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), to involve you in decision-making, and to help you to participate in the basic care of your baby, like feeding and bathing.

Good neonatal staff will give you emotional support through communication that builds trust and confidence, says neonatal nurse Sister Wilna Becker of Life Wilgers NICU in Pretoria.

4. Know that you know your preemie best, and trust your instinct

Premature babies can become critically ill very quickly, so if you sense something isn’t right in their cry, responsiveness or breathing… speak up. It’s your right and your role.

5. Know that breast milk is best for fragile infants

Start pumping as soon after delivery as you can, and keep it up. Even if baby can only feed from the breast later, the milk can be fed to her through a feeding tube in the interim. If you struggle to express, get help – contact La Leche League South Africa.

6. Know that nothing is more important to your preemie than your touch

Even if it’s limited by them being in an incubator. Ask to provide kangaroo care as often as you can, and if you are not able to, hold their hand or give their a finger to grip, and read to them.

7. Look after your own wellbeing

Be sure to eat healthily and get enough rest, accepting or requesting support from family and friends if you need it. With the equipment and interventions available today in good hospitals, at the end of the day – or sometimes many weeks – your preemie will be sent home with you, Sister Becker says. 

By the time they are 2 or 3 years old, they are likely to have caught up with their peers and be a flourishing toddler, and these early weeks will be only a memory.