We asked a psychologist and a mindfulness teacher for their advice on how to set realistic goals for the year.
1. Set goals based on your abilities, your experience, your resources and your capacity. “Seek professional help from a psychologist or qualified life or business coach, so you make the best decisions for yourself,” advises Durban psychologist Claire Newton.
“What’s most important is to know the why behind the goals,” says Daria Rasmussen, sociologist and mindfulness teacher. “Create a simple and practical framework for your goals. To get something done, schedule it. Track your progress and set times to review it. Go over what worked and what didn’t. Learn and make any necessary adjustments.”
2. Be sure that what you're trying to achieve is genuinely what you want, and not what friends, family and or your partner might be advising you to strive for. If you’re aiming for goals that please anyone other than yourself, you may feel hollow when you achieve "their" goals.
3. If your goals are unrealistically large, break them into smaller, specific, actionable, achievable, measurable goals, giving them realistic timeframes that allow you to monitor your progress. Be sure to celebrate small milestones along the way.
4. Be willing to adjust or change your goal if it genuinely proves too difficult, or if your priorities change – as can happen in life, especially when partners and families come into play. Flexibility is what allows you to bend a little to accommodate change, but not break from your overall intention and goal. That said, “sometimes, because of new circumstances or opportunities, or because we have new information, it may be wisest to let go of a goal”, says Newton. “Knowing when to let go, and being able to accept that, is really important for mental health and wellbeing.”
5. Cultivate an active mindset – rather than fixating on obstacles that are keeping you from your goal, focus on what you can do to overcome them or work around them. If you can’t afford the studies required, can you apply for a bursary? If you can’t afford equipment, can you take on a side-hustle?
6. Accept that we are all emotional by nature. “Emotions are an inevitable part of our lives, and an important source of information for us,” says Rasmussen. “We just don’t always know how to self-regulate and how to deal with them. Mindfulness practices like labelling emotions and recognising them teach us how to sit with or tolerate our emotions, especially the difficult ones. We learn how not to get lost in them; to honour them without avoiding, resisting. or being overwhelmed by them.”
7. Don’t procrastinate – a well-chosen mentor or role model can help keep you on track to achieving your goal, providing guidance, motivating you when you falter, and holding you accountable. Equally importantly, they can celebrate with you when things go right, acting as a cheerleader, and keeping you moving ahead.