Should your children share a room?
There are a host of good habits siblings can learn from sharing a bedroom, many of which extend past the physical space and provide useful tools that will serve them well in their social lives.
What are the advantages of children sharing a room?
“Children who share a bedroom with siblings quickly learn to share their space and their possessions,” says parent coach, Laura Markovitz.
She adds that they can also learn good conflict resolution skills that come from having to compromise, assert themselves and provide a space to hear and understand each other. “It’s a great way for siblings to connect and share, growing close personal bonds as they learn to laugh, play and talk to each other.”
What are the disadvantages of children sharing a room?
• Sleep disturbances can take place, especially if one child has trouble sleeping
• Privacy becomes an issue as children get older
• Larger age gaps can make things more difficult as each child has different bed-times and privacy needs.
“It’s vital to keep tabs on what is going on with children in their own lives and between siblings, particularly when they share a living space. If there is any concern around any conflict, physical, emotional or sexual abuse; this must be dealt with immediately,” Markovitz warns.
How to make it work
Very often, circumstances dictate and children must, by necessity, share a room. “Parents need to be cognisant of the needs of each of their children. It works well to get children involved in the planning of their rooms and to make a space for each child where they can keep things that are private and special to them.
It can be as simple and small as a shelf or a cupboard; the key is that that they have a space and that this space is respected by the others,” says Markovitz. It’s also good to plan ahead and help children think through what will happen with playdates or sleepovers, she continues.
Each child’s personality and interests should be reflected in the décor and set up of the room. “Allow them to choose the side or space where they sleep and decorate it in the way that highlights their individuality,” Markovitz advises.
When it comes to conflict resolution, Markovitz points out that parents don’t always have to say which child is right or wrong, what is important is that parents act as facilitators and make sure that each child is heard and that they are helped to solve problems when difficulties arise.
“Even when children have separate bedrooms, it can be a fun, bonding experience to enjoy the occasional ‘sleepover’,” she concludes.
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