What can I do about my toddler's slow eating?
Does your child take forever to eat just a few mouthfuls of food? Learn what the experts say about how best to deal with mealtimes – without turning them into a daily power struggle.
It’s enough to make the most patient parent scream. You’ve lovingly prepared a balanced meal, coaxed your toddler to the table, and so the battle begins…they won’t sit still, take half a bite, ask for cereal instead. An hour later, you’ve negotiated three teaspoons down.
So what’s a parent to do? Johannesburg-based child psychologist Cristine Scolari offers the following advice.
Start with your own behaviour
“Eating – or the lack of it – evokes huge anxiety in parents and toddlers pick up on this. It’s a great way to get your attention,” explains Scolari. So difficult as it might be, you need to stay calm. If you can keep your cool and come off as casual, it’s a lot less interesting for your toddler to test your reactions at mealtimes.
When you’re struggling to wrestle down your emotions over uneaten food, it might help to remember this: a recent study from the University of Michigan found that despite parents’ concerns, picky eating does not stunt growth or development. What’s more, pickiness remains largely unchanged whether or not parents pressure their children to eat.
Another tip is to offer three meals and healthy snacks in between, but to allow two to three hours between eating. This way, you toddler won’t fill up on snack foods too soon before a meal, but if they don’t eat more than a few bites of lunch, it’s not long before they eat again. Knowing they won’t actually starve takes some of the pressure off of you.
Turn off the screens
Many a desperate parent has tried to spoon in a few veggies while their child is glued to Peppa Pig, but this is counterproductive in the long run. “Take away any possible distractions,” says Scolari. This includes tablets, TVs and even your phone, if your toddler finds it hard to look away from a screen.
Approach meals as a time to connect with your child rather than merely to get the kilojoules in. A relaxed atmosphere creates positive associations and teaches them the social value of shared meals, which have been shown to decrease the risk of obesity and help raise well-adjusted children (regardless of what food is served or how much is eaten).
Ask them (the right) questions
“Give some choice, but not carte blanche,” suggests Scolari. So definitely not, “What do you want for dinner?” (which is too open-ended and can create option anxiety) but rather, “We are having chicken for dinner – do you want some peas or carrots with it?”. This will give them some agency but without overwhelming them.
Try a rewards chart
Because they can imply that ‘pro-social’ – that is, helpful or positive – behaviour should be rewarded rather than default, rewards charts sometimes get a bad rap. But Scolari believes they have their place.
You could, for example, give a sticker for trying new food, or for eating half the food on the plate. Rewards charts give visual proof that you’re pleased with your child and can give them something to work towards. But it’s best to keep the goals realistic and avoid getting into elaborate bargaining sessions.
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