While it may be good for staying in touch with family and friends, social media is increasingly having a negative impact on teens’ lives on many levels. Unrealistic images of perfection and beauty, along with impossible weight-loss claims – as seen on Instagram – are destroying self-confidence and causing anxiety and depression in teenagers.
Cape Town psychologist Megan de Beyer says social media is having an impact on teenagers’ identity formation, affecting the self-esteem of both boys and girls. And because it’s here to stay, finding coping strategies is essential.
“Humans learn by watching other humans,” says De Beyer. “We have mirror cells in our neuro network and these cells try to copy other humans. Teenagers aged 11 to 16 are at the development stage of trying to find their clan and fit in. Validation is high on their list and therein lie the perils of social media. They are bombarded by images of teenagers looking perfect and happy. Then there’s the instant dopamine rush of the ping when someone likes a post.”
Peer praise above parent praise
De Beyer says for the teen years, parents’ praise no longer has the power it used to; peer praise now has power. “Seeing images of perfect bodies are believed to be real life by teens,” she says, “and they can be deeply affected by this as they want to fit in. Social media has increased the power of stereotypical perfection by emulating it over and over, and the negative impact on teens’ self-worth is huge. Teens believe that if they don’t look like that nobody will find them desirable.”
Mentor, don't monitor
So how can parents manage these misperceptions? “Definitely not by lecturing their teens,” says De Beyer. “Telling teens that pictures have been Photoshopped is not constructive. We need to show them before-and-after images, and how these were created. The visual sense is needed to counteract the fake ‘perfect’ images with real imperfect images. The Dove Real Beauty campaign, which showed models in their natural state and then with make-up, is a good way to dispel the myths of perfection.”
Importantly, De Beyer says parents shouldn’t ban the use of social media, but rather limit it and access to digital devices – especially around meal times and bedtime. “Don’t sneak onto teens’ accounts. Parents must educate themselves to help their teens use social media effectively, carefully and safely. Discuss social media etiquette and make it a positive and supportive place where kids support friends in endeavours. Then encourage face-to-face friendships with both sexes, in groups, with the same set of values.”
She points out that it’s important for teens to enjoy activities and be good at something. “Be it chess or surfing, music or toastmasters, teens develop confidence through the things they master.”
Developing a healthy body image
“Social media creates a hunger in teens to look like the images it portrays,” says dietitian Jeske Wellmann. “Because of the amount of time teens spend online, pressure through social media is a risk factor for eating disorders,” she says.
“People also confuse fitness and thinness; the latter does not equate healthy or happy. Exercise releases serotonin or feel-good hormones, but depriving yourself of food to be thin may spur depression.”
“Weight loss has to be a lifestyle and losing weight over a period of months leads to sustainable results. Rapid weight loss can increase risk of gallstones, dehydration, malnutrition, fatigue, constipation, electrolyte imbalances, menstrual irregularities, hair loss, headaches and dizziness.”
Losing 500g to 1kg per week increases the chance of losing fat, as your body can only burn that much fat over a period of time. Slow changes to diet and exercise enable the development of lifetime habits.
Wellmann warns against fad diets and excluding any food group. “There is no quick fix; consistency is key to reaching your goal. Consult a dietitian rather than Google and remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”
Look out for these red lights
According to Emma Sadleir, social media legal expert, smartphones are powerful tools. If your child is on Snapchat or Instagram and you don’t know these platforms, it’s almost impossible to keep your child safe. Adults need to consciously learn how platforms work and what kids like about them.
The two biggest issues online are sexting and cyber-bullying.
Requesting nude pictures of girls is now the norm among teenagers in South Africa. Nude pictures are treated as a social currency and are traded, like cricket cards were in the old days. Sadleir says boys fall prey to cat-fishing, when girls or predators take on other personas to elicit nude or graphic pictures. These are circulated and boys are shamed and often bullied as a result.
Under child pornography laws, asking someone under 18 for a nude photo is a criminal offense. Kids with internet connections have access to pornography, which has a huge psychological impact on them. Sadleir advises parents to educate themselves on technology so they can keep their teens safe. There is no longer a choice on whether or not to engage in social media, but rather how we do it that matters. Keep open communication and don’t forbid it. Start them off with a simple cell phone and switch to a smartphone only when they reach 13 years old.
Stay informed
The Village Facebook group, launched in 2017 by Megan de Beyer and former magazine editor Vanessa Raphaely, has more than 26 000 members. The closed group offers information and support for parents and podcasts are available on The Village Live Facebook page (@thevillagehq) or visit the website https://thevillagehq.com/
IMAGE CREDIT: Getty